I am 15 and I struggle with Depression
My story starts in 7th grade. I was 12 years and 6 months old exactly when my brother took his life. I didn't go to school for a week. I cried all day every day that week. The one question I kept getting asked 'Are you O.K.?'. That is the most bullshit question you could ever ask someone who has just lost the closest person in the world to them. Ever since then I blamed sadness on my grief. Now when I look back I can't see a distinct change from grief to depression but there was a specific day I remember when I started having passive suicidal thoughts. I got into the car with my family and the first thing that came into my head was if we get into a car crash I want to die. Those thoughts went on for 2 years but I was able to hide it until 6 weeks ago when I finally reached out for help and went into my local PHP program. I was in that program for nine days and it was the best thing for me. I am currently in an IOP program which my physiatrist is trying to kick me out of. It is supposed to be a transition back into school but because of my special circumstance I am still in the program am not ready to transition back.
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