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My name is jonathan, and this is my story

I am 14 and I struggle with Self Harm


It started in 2015 after my grandmother died. I couldn't talk to people because I couldn't trust anyone. It just seemed like nobody cared. So one day I had smashed one of my rocks and it cut the palm of my hand. it didn't hurt so I did it again (this time i smashed my hand onto the rock pieces) and I felt nothing. After that i grabbed the sharpest rock and went inside. My mom asked what happened to my hand and I said that I crashed my bike. she believed me and cleaned my hand and I went to my room. I put the rock on the shelf and thought nothing of it until December of 2016. That was the month that my grandma and grandpa both died in a car crash. I was very close to them but they lived in Virginia and I live in Ohio. When they died I didn't find out until my parents told me 3 days later. When I heard that they died I remembered the rock. I went up to my room and pulled my sleeve up and cut my upper arm because i remembered that i felt better after I smashed it and I thought it would help. It did, when I made the first cut it felt good. I have been cutting my upper arms, right thigh, and the area under my watch ever since. I don't use the rock anymore. I moved on to X-ACTO blades, pencil sharpener blades, and knives. It is hard to hide the scars and cuts. If you can help me please e-mail me at jonathanlayne3@gmail.com


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  1. Hi jonathan, maybe you could benefit from talking to some one like the samaritans there not just a suicide help line they are there to help with anything like self harm and loss the number they are only in the uk so i don’t know if you will be able to contact them in america but I’m sure that there will be something similar in america near where you live , but it may be worth going to your doctor they can help and they can refer you to someone who you could speak to, someone who can help , i can relate on how hard it is to loose people and i have very badly self harmed previously, i have now gone a year and a half without self harming , you need to try and find different coping strategies its different for everyone you just need to find something that helps you personally , stay strong 🙂

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