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My name is Amy Bleuel, and this is my story

I am 31 and I struggle with Suicide


Life is full of trials that may bring a person to experience great pain or, if we're lucky, bring us great joy. Those experiences, the good and the bad, are carried through life with us. To not only shape and change whom we are, but to also leave us with the lessons we have learned.

Growing up, for me, was one trial after another. I spent years wondering what I would eventually learn from my experiences and why I had to endure these things. At some points, I even wondered if there could be a way out.

From even a young age, I learned how to endure and to fight. At the age of 6, 2 years after my parents divorced, I chose to go live with my father and his new wife. Living with my father was great until my stepmother began abusing me physically, mentally and even emotionally. I endured her abuse until I was taken from my father and put into state custody. I remained there while I waited for my mother to come for me. This happened at the age of 8, marking the start of my journey into "the system".

As a young child, I'd already experienced more pain than I even imagined possible. Going forward with my life was difficult because of the years I'd been abused. I'd been left with a tendency towards seeking unhealthy kinds of attention and a habit for choosing paths that weren’t beneficial for my life.

When I was 13, I was raped for the first time. Rather than being reassured and comforted after the assault, I was held responsible for a crime I did not commit and put back into the system. The next five years of my life were spent in darkness and total solitude. I was even heavily medicated with drugs used to treat mental illnesses despite never being diagnosed with one at the time. I fell victim to self-injuring behavior more than once and, on a number of occasions, even attempted to take my life.

I had little to no respect for myself and I felt that I was worthless. The people around me, especially those who were supposed to love me, never showed me that I was worth the very air I breathed. Their attitude towards me became my attitude about me and the mentality through which I viewed myself.

At the age of 18, I lost my father to suicide. I had been at a low point for quite some time, but this brought more pain to my life than anything I had ever experienced. With that pain lingering in the shadows, I was sent off to begin my life as an adult. I was fresh out of the system and completely unaware of where or how to begin my life as an adult, so at that point, after 5 years of not being in school, I obtained my HSED and went off to college.

Beginning college brought an entirely new set of trials to my life. I started experimenting with drugs, which led me to abuse prescription painkillers. I also struggled greatly with depression during that period, which reflected very poorly on my performance in school. It was during my first couple of years in college that I was raped two more times and, at the hands of an ex-boyfriend, I experienced the loss of my unborn child.

Throughout my life, through the good times and the bad, I held closely to my faith in God. There were times that I wavered in my Faith and wondered why I had to experience such pain and times when I wondered how could a God of love allow me to go through this?

Meeting my husband was the turning point in my life. For the first time, I experienced true love and I was, finally, able to start healing. It was through this journey that I embraced my calling and set out to help others who felt they were less than their true worth. I knew I wanted to impact the world and to make a difference, which is how Project Semicolon began.

It is the love of my Savior that empowered me to make a difference and to love the world with a Christ-like love even when the world hadn't loved me. It is only through God that I am here to tell you my story and empower you all to continue yours. Without His love and grace I know that my story would never have been told. I hope that you all know that you are loved and that you are worth saving. My story isn’t over yet, neither is yours.

Stay Strong; Love Endlessly; Change Lives


If you enjoyed Amy Bleuel's story, send a bit of encouragement in the comments section below or share this story with others.

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  1. Amy in heaven I got my semicolon tattoo today as a reminder that know my story isn’t over yet and neither has my sons who suffers from addiction. I just wanted to thank you for the many lives you have touched and still are. I thought of you when I was getting my tattoo and how strong and brave and what a good fight you had! I just wanted to get a message to your family that your work still matters and is still out there doing good changing peoples lives and giving them hope. Thank you you were here on earth to save many

    • I got a semi-colon tattoo done aswell when I heard about the project- Amy’s work has saved my life and I still live thanks to this amazing woman’s work.
      Her work will carry on, and for her – she can finally rest peacefully.
      My thoughts are with her family

  2. It wasn’t god, it was you; yes it’s you, you who suffered and you who fought back. I’m someone who fights agoraphobia everyday and gets knocked down every time yet stands up again. The fight is on; we’re the most intellectual specie on the planet and we have the power within all of us, let’s just accept it.
    Why everyone saying RIP? Sorry I’m new here.

  3. I just joined this website today. A friend referred me to this site. I have been battling anxiety and depression since I was a teenager. I plan to share my story like many others have done at some point. Anyways, thanks for creating this organization. It is nice to know that I am not alone. I am sorry that you are no longer with us.

  4. I will just let here a sign, from a friend to a friend I did not know. I just joined the project, I am dealing with depression from the very first years of my life and I’m about to start trying to live. Your love and devotion give me strength. I feel sad and hopeful.
    Rest in peace dear Amy Bleuel.

  5. I joined this website today. A friend referred me to this site. I am a survivor of suicide, today marks 20 years since my husband took his life. It’s been a struggle for me raising two teenage sons at the time of his death, my oldest son who was very close to his father is now fighting addiction to Meth and has threatened suicide himself. I am here to try and understand mental illness and what I can do to help him.

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