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My name is HalfPint, and this is my story

I am 35 and I struggle with Depression

My Name is HalfPint, i thought i was doing good fighting the demons the medications seemed to be helping and things seemed to be working out, then one day in May 2019 i had a fall back, the whole system crashed and something inside me broke. I attempted to commit suicide while at work alone, however an officer walked in whom i had know personally outside of work and I broke down to him spilling the beans and my plans. He went into action and got me the help i needed, 24 hours later my medication was upped and i had a new appointment at mental health.

Fast forward 6 months things seem to be going okay, however as the holidays approach the nightmares return from an incident that has caused PTSD, the nightmares have created sleeping issues and we all know depression and sleeping issues can make us our own worst enemies. So i notice i begin to slip i notice i am pulling away from people and friends, i notice i am enjoying time alone more and more and sleeping less less, all signs that its getting bad again. halfway through the month i get the news a friend has lost the battle with the demon and has taken his life, i go to his services not something easily done when this could have been me 6 months ago. I realize the people that are not showing up for him are ones who have stopped talking to him over the years, even some of his family didnt show up. Then i realize that people are always listening but nobody really cares, that in order to survive these demons we have to depend on ourselves and look into ourselves for the strength and happiness that we desire because in the end thats all that will truly matter. So i am going to say this to everyone suffering and battling reach out and talk even if it feels weird talk about it, write it down something. you dont have to keep it throw it away burn it do whatever but let the demon out let the demons vent then scream cry pick yourself up pat yourself on the back and say "not today satan" because you fought the storm and came out stronger you did it not your parents siblings or friends YOU DID and for that I AM PROUD OF YOU!!!

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