I am 24 and I struggle with Depression
I dont even know where to begin or how to start this…..but here it goes…
My names Amy and i have been struggling with depression for quite some time now and certain chooses i have made dosnt exactly help! I have a beautiful 6 year old son who is my absolute world and is the reason im able to write my story, a few months ago i was ready to end my life and hurt, i couldnt take the pain and constent battle to be the best person for my son and to everyone! Then something clicked, how could i even of considered leaving my little boy without a mummy…bahhh here it goes this may upset others who are against it or hopefully someone is going through the same thing! In may 2018 i fell pregnant with my current partners baby, my head was all over the place wasnt long told i have to get my leg amputated due to a bone disease and my partners drinking and gambling took alot out of me so long story short i had an abortion… wasnt a easy decision but i went that morning and was awake for the whole thing! I said stop so many times but it was to late…i felt my wee baby leave my stomach and still feel it and smell the room etc, i hate myself every single day! And is a day to day struggle for me to be the best i can for my little boy, when i first thought of suicide i was numb i sent my little boy to my parents house and had every intention to end this hurt. I was diagnosed with depression and ptsd a couple of months ago, certain noises smells affect me daily as its a reminder of my choice and my dreams are awful! I have consuling and on medication, im hoping my story dosnt offend anyone!
Thank you for listening.
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