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My name is Amy, and this is my story

I am 24 and I struggle with Depression

I dont even know where to begin or how to start this…..but here it goes…

My names Amy and i have been struggling with depression for quite some time now and certain chooses i have made dosnt exactly help! I have a beautiful 6 year old son who is my absolute world and is the reason im able to write my story, a few months ago i was ready to end my life and hurt, i couldnt take the pain and constent battle to be the best person for my son and to everyone! Then something clicked, how could i even of considered leaving my little boy without a mummy…bahhh here it goes this may upset others who are against it or hopefully someone is going through the same thing! In may 2018 i fell pregnant with my current partners baby, my head was all over the place wasnt long told i have to get my leg amputated due to a bone disease and my partners drinking and gambling took alot out of me so long story short i had an abortion… wasnt a easy decision but i went that morning and was awake for the whole thing! I said stop so many times but it was to late…i felt my wee baby leave my stomach and still feel it and smell the room etc, i hate myself every single day! And is a day to day struggle for me to be the best i can for my little boy, when i first thought of suicide i was numb i sent my little boy to my parents house and had every intention to end this hurt. I was diagnosed with depression and ptsd a couple of months ago, certain noises smells affect me daily as its a reminder of my choice and my dreams are awful! I have consuling and on medication, im hoping my story dosnt offend anyone!

Thank you for listening.

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One Comment

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  1. Amy, Be strong. Your son needs you more then you will ever know. These are trying times for you and you will get through it. All of these challenges are making you a strong and powerful person so that you can be an amazing mother to your son. Don’t let your abortion define you; you only have to answer to yourself. Stick with your counseling because it will have many positive influences on you. Work on bringing positive things into your life and depart from the negatives. I firmly believe having a relationship with God will truly help you grow as a person and more importantly as a mother. You got this and always keep your son as priority #1. JP

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