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My name is Grace, and this is my story

I am 12 and I struggle with Anxiety


I am living proof that mental illnesses can show up at the youngest ages. I suffer (?) from anxiety and I don't really know why. My childhood, which in my opinion ended at age 9, was amazing and dare I say, perfect. It was all sunshine, rainbows, candy and unicorns. So when I have an anxiety attack it makes me feel like a brat for not being as perfect as my upbringing.

When I have an anxiety attack it is usually for a silly, meaningless reason. Like if someone, usually my family, says something I don't like or if I don't get what I want. This, also makes me feel like a brat.

My heart races and my fist clench because I can feel it coming. And when it comes I tear up, my breathing quickens and I frown. I try to focus on something else, a song, a book, something happy, anything happy. But my mind works against me. Thoughts are racing through my head like their running a marathon. Some shout and others whisper. I can't think straight. My first instinct is to leave the situation, like prey hiding from the predator. Most of the time, that's what I do, I leave.

Once I'm upstairs or in another room I call down. The breathing slows, that thoughts come together. The tears come out but stop almost immediately. And that's when the negative thoughts come.

But when I can control it, it's different. When I feel it coming from the back of my mind I take deep breaths. In my head, I sing the song I learned just for this purpose. Face Everything and Rise by Papa Roach.

The earth shakes and the city's burning
But it feels like the tide is turning
Love hurts and there's no warning
Lightning strikes, my heart is storming

The rain is a blessing in disguise
The flood's coming and it's drowning all the lies
The pain, the rain is a blessing in disguise
The flood's coming and it's drowning all the lies

I will face everything and rise
Never gonna quit until I die
Angels keep falling from the sky
I'll take your broken wings and learn to fly
I will face everything and rise

By the time in done singing, it's all over. Peace has washed over the once raging soul. Because I fought it. And I'm proud of that.

Thank you for reading my story. I hope this had a positive impact in some way, shape or form.


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