, ,

My name is Leo, and this is my story

I am 16 and I struggle with Self Harm


It has been almost a year since I last/first wrote part of my story on here.
I am far less depressed and anxious than then. I have been on meds for over a year and my mom and I are on good terms and understanding again. I don't know where I stand in my sexuality, though I know I DEFINITELY like girls. I have a girlfriend now and we've been together for almost six months now. She means so much to me and has really helped me a lot with my mental health.
*trigger warning: suicide, cutting and other forms of self harm mentioned*
The biggest thing that she has helped me with is my self harm. I have self harmed since as long as I can remember, and way before I knew what it was. I don't cut or do anything that leaves any suspicious scars and rarely even break through the skin so no one has ever noticed. I have had the urge to cut, but I never wanted anyone to notice so I was always able to restrain myself to just scratching/pinching etc. My girlfriend is only the second person who I have told about this.
I typically do it to calm down when I am having a panic attack or ground myself or just to get my mind off of my depression. I have also used it to deal with my dysphoria (I identify as nonbinary). For a bit I was suicidal and self harm was a better alternative.
I am really working on stopping now though, but it is hard because it is so ingrained in my by now. I have set myself a goal to be clean for at least a year when I am 20 and get a small tattoo on my wrist as a reminder that I can overcome everything and anything.
My girlfriend has been clean for a year and a half, so she is able to help me quite a bit. I am able to usually just draw on my arm instead (sometimes it only works if I draw lines as if I cut), but sometimes it gets to be too much.
Now I am able to call or text my girlfriend usually or if I am lucky see her, and talk to her about it and she helps me calm down. I have found talking about it extremely helpful and I think I may be able to actually move on and stop, which is also why I wanted to write about it on here.
There really wasn't much of a point to this besides sharing my story so others might not feel alone, and maybe I even some how gave a tip. I also like to have this to look back on in the future to see how far I have come. Good luck to anyone else out there who is struggling with self harm or any issue!


If you enjoyed Leo’s story, send a bit of encouragement in the comments section below or share this story with others.

2 Comments

Leave a Reply
  1. Leo,

    It is great to see how you have taken control of your situation. I hope you and your girlfriend last forever because it sounds like she is amazing. I”ll pray that you meet your one year goal. You have your end game and it might help for you to set smaller goals to get you to your final goal. By achieving the smaller goals it will give you positive reinforcement to stay focused on the end game. Stay strong. You’ll be in my prayers.

    JP

Leave a Reply