I am 14 and I struggle with Bipolar Disorder
Hi, my name is Lauren and this is my story.
It started out in 7th grade up until this point I thought it was weird the outbursts I was having and didn't know why I would have these phases where I would feel like I was going absolutely insane. It was toward the end of the school year where the depressive phases started taking over. I cut for the first time. I didn't have any long sleeve shirts so I was wearing sweatshirts all the time. I kept hinting that things were going on but nothing seemed to work. My friend saw it and told her grandma which led to her telling my parents. They found out. They took me to the local clinic to try and help and get medicine. What they hadn't realized is that I already tried to commit suicide. They took me to the emergency room and I spent 8 hours from er to only a robe and socks going to the mental hospital. I started outpatient therapy which is supposed to last about 3 weeks but I was there for 2 months. This went over my graduation from school. I never did my finals that year. After outpatient I was doing well I had started bipolar medication and found out that I had a mental disorder. Until 8th grade hit. I had what I thought was good friends and support. There was a new kid at the school. Who was in a totally wrong situation then I should've joined. He asked me out and I felt the peer pressure of telling him yes or no. I said yes and things did not end so well. First day he kept trying to kiss me so I would turn every time. We hung out after school and he would grab the back of my hoodie if I tried walking away he wouldn't let me sit down unless I sat in his lap. I stayed at my house and it was around 10pm so we went inside and he was with us. Now I am not a sexual person nor did I ever want to. He started to finger me and when I tried to push his away he would over power me I said no multiple times. I went home feeling violated. Next day I couldn't stand to look at him. I went to the office of the school and talked to the school officer. I told her what happened and my parents came and took me out of that school because I was being bullied. The officer talked to the friend I was with that night and she denied anything happened. Everyone hated me at this point saying I was a liar. I was being harassed by him. He would come to my house with his friends and try to beat me up. We almost had to call the police. I went from being okay to hating life. I tried overdosing and I had to go back to the mental hospital and I was there for 4 months. I am still struggling with cutting and things like that. But I met some friends online who are there for me when I need them. The picture is of me now. I just want anyone reading this to hold on and wait for it to get better because I am at a good place now.
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