I am 26 and I survived Suicide
I was 20 years old when I found myself on a plane with a rifle between my legs. Nervously talking to the guys around me pretending I wasn't terrified. I remember feeling the like warm air hitting my face from the a/c valve above my head and hearing the sounds of seasoned combat veterans snoring as this is their 4th or 5th time down range. My stomach was churning, throat was tight, and my legs were trembling. Fast forward 6 months later and I'm in a flight back home after I sustained a few injuries that made me a "risk" if I stayed in theatre. And I felt the same terrible, dreadful feeling instead of feeling excited to be out of hell, my nightmare was about to start. My relationships with my family and friends deteriorated, I lacked confidence that I once had, I projected an image of self hate and regret. I wasn't even home six months when I decide to take my life. I was barley 21 years old. I was alone in the world, scared, helpless with no signs of anything improving in my life unless I went back to Afghanistan. But in that moment, when my respiration began to decrease, and my esophogas began to swell, and I started seeing tunnel vision I decided I wasn't going to die, I had just started my journey my to recovery. The road of recovery wasn't the easiest. I became homeless, divorced after having two children, and I'm still driving that road, it may have hills, speed bumps, and seem to be washedout at times And it may seem like it's over, but keep that gas peddle Floored and keep driving on.
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