I am 14 and I struggle with Self Harm
I was about 11, I struggled with major depression and anxiety. Going to school was the hardest task I had ever faced. I felt completely worthless being there, surrounded by all these happy, perfect people. Perfect people who judged me for everything I did. I think I was around 11 1/2 when i first made a razor blade kiss my my wrist like it was kissing someone’s little I would go days sometimes without coming outta my room to eat or to see anyone, I never felt like i had SOMETHING going for me. In my mind, I was ugly, depressing to be around, annoying, stupid, the least I could go home and cut away all these thoughts This continued up until about 3-5 months ago. I made myself completely miserable, all I ever focused on was taking away my pain not what I was doing to other people.One of my most fond memories was when I was in 8th grade, I was home and all I wanted to do was die. So I took a razor from my parents’ bathroom and with a shaky, I attempted to end my own life in the tub of my own bathroom Every time I tried to cut, I felt this overwhelming sensation of fear and I just couldn't make myself do it. My biggest challenge in school was my anxiety from all the bullying; It controlled everything about me. I never knew when an anxiety attack would come on, it could be in the middle of a conversation,It makes everything a challenge, from standing up in front of my class mates to present things to asking someone for help on a math problem all I could do was think of how people thought of me… worthless I finally had people start entering my life and making me feel wanted and feel like I had people there for me through anything.I can admit, I’m nowhere near complete recovery, but I am making progress and right now that's what matters. I have people and websites like this to help me and so do you Just remember, to anyone who’s reading this, you matter, and you're not alone
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