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My name is Sierra Boone, and this is my story

I am 15 and I survived Suicide

When i was only nine , my dad died to Lymphoma cancer. I never really struggled to make friends, but after his death i did. i was scared that they would get taken away to. So i just wouldn’t get close to anyone. My 8th grade year i started having really bad anxiety attacks that my mother & i were asthma attacks. I went into the ER , they told me she’s not having an asthma attack , she’s having a anxiety. I had so much built up anxiety in me from not talking about my problems, it caught up to me. That summer i was diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder & Extreme Anxiety Disorder. I felt so alone. I was the only person in my house hold that had this feeling of being sad all the time, feeling so worthless, not good enough. My life started rolling down hill even more… i his in my room from the world. Thanksgiving Break of my freshman year i started cutting.. it went from with a earring to a tack to a blade. on January 9,2016 i decided that i didn’t want to live , i wanted to die. i cut myself so deep i bled till the next day.. nobody knew. i was gunna go home and take a bottle of pills , cut myself some more , hang myself . so i could end it all. so i went to school the next day & was hugging everyone telling them i loved them, holding them close to me. Everyone knew something was wrong because i wasn’t like that. I walked to this lady’s room. when i walked in she stoop up & said “Sierra what’s wrong? their is this vibe i’m feeling that something isn’t okay” i burst into tears and show her my arms.. i end up going to the ER and they call my casework for MHMR & they send me to a Pychiatric Hospital . i was their for six days. i thought things weren’t going to change. but i came home & things were so much better. Two months went by and i started harming myself again.. i was “relapsing” i fell back right into that hole . over the the past few months March-July i was in & our of hospitals. Then October 15,2017 I really was done , i moved away from where i was from & this pain that i get everyday of not wanting to be alive , worthlessness , unloved , etc. would not go away. I oded on over 30+ pills (Trazodone) . i prayed God take me outta this world. I did it in front of my mom.. She called the ambulance & they saved me.. They didn’t think i was going to make it.. i was so close to death.. i was choosing death over my friends , family , future children, future husband…

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