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My name is Seth robare, and this is my story

I am 17 and I survived Suicide

Ive never actually told my story; well here goes nothing. Im a 16 (almost 17) year old boy. From the outside i look like i have it all, might go as far as i look spoiled. But the truth is quite the opposite, in the years of me being ages 12-13 i started getting really depressed. At age 14 1/2 i started self harming…never again will i be that innocent child sitting in his bathroom crying his eyes out breaking apart a shaving razor for the first of many times to come. From there on i was borderline passively suicidal, always knowing it was an option yet never falling into it. Instead i fell into more and more self harming habits and routines. At age 15, December 13, 2015, i went to the hospital for suicidal attempt (more of a plead for help than a suicide attempt). *now diagnosed with major depressive disorder and major anxiety* I stayed there for 3 days when they released me thinking i was better. Within a month i was back in the hospital for self harm, this time 5 days of "treatment" at this particular facility. March 4, 2016, 2:30 am….a 16 year old took a serious attempt at taking his life. You guessed it…back to the hospital i went. Another mere 5-7 days, but this time was different; this time i wanted to get better. The next time i would see the hospital is sometime in april…this one is kind of a blur because i try to block it out…i went for self harm and stayed at another short term facility for 5 days then being shipped from there to a long term facility for 6 days. (Lets just say that place wasnt right for me) whilst in the long teem facility i had my third and final suicide attempt (this one didnt go as planned in the slightest and failed miserably). My 7th and final hospital stay was on may 19th 2016, for self harm and suicidal ideations….this time i stayed around 16 days, and this time i felt it working…not just fake it to make it through the program…i was working the program but a few days pass and i hit rock bottom in the hospital…i dont self harm or attempt…ive learned better…but i realize…may 25…my birthday has passed…ive forgotten my birthday. I would come to spend my 16th birthday in a mental hospital with the best and most genuine people i have ever or ever will meet in my entire life. Now i am almost 17, 10 months and 22 days clean. Still and forever, working the program of life.

This is my story, Seth Robare.

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